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Unregistered
28-03-11, 01:09
Hello,

I am doing research for a paper I am writing. Do any Uighurs in Kashgar still have arranged marriages?

Thank you!

Unregistered
28-03-11, 07:02
Yes, in some countries still arrange a marriage. but in the city, might be some, but it is very few people IMO.

Unregistered
28-03-11, 10:02
Yes, in countrysides. But, arranged marriage among Uyghurs is different from the perception in the West. There are 3 different scenarios: 1) the guy and girl knows each other well. 2) they guy knows girl and ask for marriage without talking to her first. 3) they do not know each other, introduced by parents or relatives. Most marriages falls to the first catagory. In this scenario the guy and girl knows each other well and come to an agreement between them before they get their parents involved. And the guy and his parents, if they agree with the guy, makes a visit to the girl's family asking for a marriage. Then the girl's family makes inquiries about the guy and his family to see if he is an acceptable candidate. If they think he is, they will say yes to the marriage. They guy and girl has a quite saying in this, but their decision has to be approved by their parents. In the second scenario, the guy knows the girl and likes her and ask for marriage through his parents without the girl's pre-approval. Usually the girl has to say yes for the marriage to take place, but sometimes her parents will force her to accept the offer if they think the guy is exceptional and their daughter is making a mistake. But, if the girl is strongly against it, she could stop it even on the wedding day. But, some meek girls might go along even if they are against it. In the third scenerio, the girl and guy do not know each other. They were introduced by parents or relatives. In this case, the guy's parents makes initial inquiry about a possible marriage through a third person. If the girl's parents think the there might be a chance, they will green light for a visit of the guy and his parents. Then the guy and his family come to the girl house where the guy and girl will have a chance to meet each other and get first impression---mostly through looks. Then the guy and his parents will go home to make their decision. His parents approve the marriage they will will ask him if he liked the girl. Same thing takes place at the girl's side, if her parents approve the marriage they will aks her if she liked the guy. If both sides liked what they saw the marriage could proceed. If one of them do not like the other, especially if the guy does not like the girl, no marriage takes place.
In conclusion, in this type of arranged marriages the guy and girl may not date before marriage to understand each other, but they have great saying in the marriage decision. If parents force a marriage too much against their will, they have the option of running away with the one they love. They just need to spend a night or two together in the run and then come back to have a legal marriage. In this case the parents will have no choice since they are presumed to have consumated the relationship. This practice rarely takes place but is acceptable.

There are several well-known classic love stories in which forced marriages caused great tragedies or lovers ran away to get free from the forces keeping them apart.

Good luck with your paper.


Hello,

I am doing research for a paper I am writing. Do any Uighurs in Kashgar still have arranged marriages?

Thank you!

Unregistered
28-03-11, 20:06
Yes, arranged marriages in Kashgar region are still prevalent, however in different context and ways, especially considering the fact that Kashgar is probably the most complex and complicated region in ET/XJ. If you are working on a research paper, I'm afraid I have doubts in your methodology, i.e., asking a universal and undefined question on a website. As you can well predict, answers can be given on a very subjective base, especially on questions related to different cultural and traditional practices in different parts of ET/XJ. But still, good luck with your paper.


Hello,

I am doing research for a paper I am writing. Do any Uighurs in Kashgar still have arranged marriages?

Thank you!

Unregistered
29-03-11, 08:13
follow up on my initial response, these facts might be of interest to your paper as well. Dating is common in cities, but divorce is not. On the other hand, dating is not common in countrysides, but divorce is. Divorce is readily accepted in Uyghur culture. It is very common for people go through several divorces before settling into one that works. Parents are heavily involved in the first marriage, but the groom and bride have makes the shots in the later marriages, therefore, later marriages are more likely to work. More than 60% of the first marriages in villages end in divorce.


Yes, in countrysides. But, arranged marriage among Uyghurs is different from the perception in the West. There are 3 different scenarios: 1) the guy and girl knows each other well. 2) they guy knows girl and ask for marriage without talking to her first. 3) they do not know each other, introduced by parents or relatives. Most marriages falls to the first catagory. In this scenario the guy and girl knows each other well and come to an agreement between them before they get their parents involved. And the guy and his parents, if they agree with the guy, makes a visit to the girl's family asking for a marriage. Then the girl's family makes inquiries about the guy and his family to see if he is an acceptable candidate. If they think he is, they will say yes to the marriage. They guy and girl has a quite saying in this, but their decision has to be approved by their parents. In the second scenario, the guy knows the girl and likes her and ask for marriage through his parents without the girl's pre-approval. Usually the girl has to say yes for the marriage to take place, but sometimes her parents will force her to accept the offer if they think the guy is exceptional and their daughter is making a mistake. But, if the girl is strongly against it, she could stop it even on the wedding day. But, some meek girls might go along even if they are against it. In the third scenerio, the girl and guy do not know each other. They were introduced by parents or relatives. In this case, the guy's parents makes initial inquiry about a possible marriage through a third person. If the girl's parents think the there might be a chance, they will green light for a visit of the guy and his parents. Then the guy and his family come to the girl house where the guy and girl will have a chance to meet each other and get first impression---mostly through looks. Then the guy and his parents will go home to make their decision. His parents approve the marriage they will will ask him if he liked the girl. Same thing takes place at the girl's side, if her parents approve the marriage they will aks her if she liked the guy. If both sides liked what they saw the marriage could proceed. If one of them do not like the other, especially if the guy does not like the girl, no marriage takes place.
In conclusion, in this type of arranged marriages the guy and girl may not date before marriage to understand each other, but they have great saying in the marriage decision. If parents force a marriage too much against their will, they have the option of running away with the one they love. They just need to spend a night or two together in the run and then come back to have a legal marriage. In this case the parents will have no choice since they are presumed to have consumated the relationship. This practice rarely takes place but is acceptable.

There are several well-known classic love stories in which forced marriages caused great tragedies or lovers ran away to get free from the forces keeping them apart.

Good luck with your paper.